Month

Anxiety has it's qualities, but for the most part it's debilitating, ruthless and blinding.

Settling in was easy, but a wave of cautionary aura and surrealism still lingers.

The last couple weeks I've done the So Cal thing. Drove to San Diego and had a wonderful time with a wonderful friend and her family. We spent the evening walking down the beach at Coronado, and then a Padres game.

The following day we spent time in Poway, the City in the Country, and then had dinner before watching the sunset off Delmar beach.

I was recharged, ready to go and excited to come back to L.A. A few days past and I was back to where I began, and back to setting: Indianapolis, late-January 2011. Terrible stuff.

This week, I pray observation returns and I've granted a bit of grace to be productive and squeeze a bit of self-worth through work, for without that I wonder what I'm doing here.

This week I want to write and I want it to be good. I have a meeting with a local news outlet. I have a lot of work to legitimize myself to myself, with MATS. I want to swim every day. And, i want to be able to take a breath, relax and enjoy the moments I hold dear.