Dated

Where did I leave off? Oh yes, Chicken Tandoori and something about flat tires. So, the last couple days have been quite productive and I've managed to keep my head above water, and will continue to, as long as I eat like a possum and drink vitamin D milk.

The giant think-tank, known as Echo Park Deep Pool is where I've been able to clear my mind, and most certainly not my ears, and begin the quest toward figuring out what's wrong with me and rationalizing it to make into at least a short story. Last night I swam hard and fast, but found myself in the intermediate lane with another fast swimmer while the 'fast' lane was full of intermediate and slow-lane swimmers. Nonetheless I did my 3050 yards and felt very good swimming butterfly for the first time, in well, probably forever. Then again, it wasn't Jason Whitney telling us to do 3-200s butterfly, but who's counting.

After swimming I made my way to the Vermont Ralph's store - Kroger in California - to buy some, well, food. I felt terrible as I left, and as I left Target in Chino today, telling a homeless person I couldn't spare change, when I darn-well could have. I brewed in the van for a few minutes, and then took off asking for forgiveness for being greedy and wishing I could do more; knowing I can, but haven't.

And perhaps I've becoming more thoughtful - in a sense of thinking, not charity, though I wish I could do better in context - as I get older, and more mindful of actions and language. Like today, I noticed instantly as someone cut me off, as people and cars scattered about at the dusty-auto auction in Miro Loma, that I felt a bit of anger and hostility. Instantly, I took note of the response and condemned myself, wishing I didn't have to react that way; albeit internally, but thoughts can be just as damaging, and sometimes more, than actions. No lesson here, but I urge you to try to think about your reactions when things happen that are unpleasent and trivial. Because most things that we react to, are trivial but our responses are not.

I've been reading C.S. Lewis's Mere Christianity, again and feeling quite a pull to verses through daily liturgy passages. For instance the other day, Lewis's quote: "Atheism turns out to be too simple. If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning...", has direct correlation to the passage I read in Matthew 10 about disregarding and not heading the call to the kingdom. For as trivial as the thought of denying God's word seems, the choice is actually quite damaging on a grander scale than we can even imagine.

Also on my platter for reading is: Pope Benedict XVIs Jesus of Nazareth, suggested by a friend and checked out from the Echo Park L.A. Public library. Speaking of the library, I went in and signed up for my card, could only check out one book because I didn't have a current address on my ID, and found the place just down from the pool. Convenient.